


Hold Back the Dark

by todxrxki



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Doctor's Office AU, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, akaashi is a patient and kenma is a receptionist, also kenma does no work ever, i promise it's a happy ending ok there's no death!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-05
Updated: 2020-02-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:47:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22578052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/todxrxki/pseuds/todxrxki
Summary: Over his years of working at this doctor’s office, Kenma’s trained himself to be numb to anything. Patients come and go; some for happier reasons than others, and Kenma can’t let himself get attached for any reason. Still, as Kenma stares at the name of the doctor Akaashi’s going to visit, it feels like a million tiny needles pricking his heart.Well, there’s definitely no getting attached to this one. / Kozume Kenma, doctor's office receptionist, meets Akaashi Keiji, patient, and things take a turn Kenma'd never expected.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Kozume Kenma
Comments: 16
Kudos: 144





	Hold Back the Dark

Working as the receptionist at a doctor’s office isn’t exactly Kenma’s dream job, but it passes the time and isn’t mind-numbingly boring, yet still provides stability, so Kenma never complains. And his co-workers are decent. Most of the time, at least.

“Can you enter this paperwork into the system for me?” Tsukishima says, tossing a stack of papers at him.

Kenma stares down at the pile of papers, then back up at Tsukishima. “Why?” he asks.

Tsukishima groans. “I don’t know, maybe because you work here?”

“You aren’t my boss,” Kenma mumbles.

“Fortunately. Think you’d have been fired by now if I were,” Tsukishima says. “This is a request from the boss, though. So you can take it up with him.”

Kenma groans and takes the papers. He doesn’t want to have yet another scolding from their boss if he can help it. So he picks up the first paper, silently praying that someone will come to save him from this terrible monotony. If a patient stops by, then at least he’ll have an excuse to take a break without the boss getting on his ass about it. 

And then, after entering three sheets of repetitive patient information, the door jingles. Kenma’s head jerks around. 

The guy who walks in the door has a serious look on his face. If Kenma’s being objective, he’s an attractive guy: curly hair, piercing eyes, a nicely shaped face. But Kenma doesn’t care either way, because this guy is his (temporary) salvation from doing the world’s most annoying paperwork. 

“Welcome to Nekoma Clinic,” Kenma says dryly. “Do you have an appointment today?” 

“I do,” comes the other boy’s voice, soft and gentle. It’s relaxing. Kenma can feel his tense shoulders fall the slightest bit. “It should be under Akaashi Keiji.” 

“Okay,” Kenma says, typing Akaashi’s information into the system to check him in. 

Over the years of working at the doctor’s office, Kenma’s trained himself to be numb to anything. Patients come and go; some for happier reasons than others, and Kenma can’t let himself get attached for any reason. Still, as Kenma stares at the name of the doctor Akaashi’s going to visit, it feels like a million tiny needles pricking his heart.

Well, there’s definitely no getting attached to this one.

“I’ll call you when the doctor’s ready for you,” Kenma says stiffly. “Thanks for coming in.” 

“All right, thank you very much,” Akaashi says, and then, with a tiny, breathtaking smile and a glance at Kenma’s nametag, he adds, “Kozume-san.” He turns around to go sit down in the waiting area. Kenma watches him, and tells himself it’s impossible again, the worst idea he’s ever had, probably. Before he can think any more about it, there’s a hand falling sharply on the desk in front of him.

“How many papers have you gotten through exactly?” Tsukishima says. 

Kenma scowls. “I had a patient.”

Tsukishima raises an eyebrow, then glances out to the waiting area. The smirk that makes his way onto his face is disgusting, Kenma thinks. “So you did,” he says.

Kenma contemplates throwing something at Tsukishima. Instead, he buries his head into the pile of papers and makes himself busy entering stupid patient information. It’s easier than actually dealing with his emotions, he figures.

.

The next time Akaashi Keiji walks in, he’s noticeably thinner. Kenma physically tries to prevent himself from wincing. This is why you don’t get attached, he tells himself.

“Hello, Kozume-san,” Akaashi says without even looking at Kenma’s nametag. That in itself is dangerous.

“Akaashi-san,” Kenma says in greeting, giving him a nod. He’s not exactly the type to remember patients’ names, but his name has been on repeat in Kenma's mind for some reason, and going to the pretense of sorting through papers to ‘find’ Akaashi’s name seems like an awful lot of trouble. “Welcome back.” He doesn’t know what to say. He’s not exactly great in situations like this one, where he’s supposed to be comforting somehow, which is why he kind of regrets taking the job at this clinic. But it pays decently, and he doesn’t have to do all  _ that  _ much, so he can’t exactly regret it.

“Thank you,” Akaashi says. “I have an appointment for 1:15.”

“Yeah,” Kenma says with a nod. “Go on and have a seat. I’ll call you in a few minutes.”

Akaashi turns to, but then he hesitates. “Kozume-san. Do you mind if I ask you a question?”

Kenma’s heart jumps a little bit. This can’t be good, he thinks. Anything he asks is something that Kenma probably won’t be able to answer. He winces, says, “I guess. That’s what I’m paid for, after all.”  
  


Kenma likes to think of himself as fairly observant. He watches the way Akaashi hesitates, then shakes his head and says, “It's just... are there any good restaurants in the area?” It’s obvious that he’d meant to say something else. 

“Yeah, there’s a good place down the street,” Kenma says, and then, possibly the stupidest thing he’s ever said - “I get off work in an hour. If, uh, if you want me to show you.”

Akaashi doesn’t smile, but he doesn’t frown either. He simply nods. “That would be good,” he says. “I’ll see you after my appointment, then.”

“Kozume Kenma,” comes Tsukishima’s loud, taunting voice. “Are you scheduling a date during work hours? Tsk, tsk, tsk.” 

“It’s not a date,” Kenma grumbles. “I was just trying to be nice.”

A faux gasp slips from Tsukishima’s lips. “I never thought I’d see the day that  _ Kenma _ was trying to be nice to anyone!” 

“He’s most likely not doing well anyways,” Kenma mutters, hating that it stings to say. “I just don’t want to be a dick to him during his last few months. Okay?”

For once, it’s enough to shut even Tsukishima up. He shuts his mouth, lips drawn into a thin line. “Fine,” he says flatly. “If you say so.” His tone indicates that he still doesn’t believe Kenma. Kenma contemplates banging his head on the counter, but before he can, Tsukishima tosses another stack of paper at him. “Here. Check these in. Doctor’s orders.”

Kenma starts to contemplate telling him where the  _ doctor _ can shove his paperwork, but decides it’s not yet worth losing his job and sighs. 

.

Akaashi’s standing outside of the office when Kenma goes on break. There’s something glassy and unfocused in his gaze. Kenma sidles up beside him, realizes he knows absolutely nothing about what to do for someone in Akaashi’s situation, and says, “Uh, hey. Everything okay?”

Akaashi looks at him for a second in shock, probably because no one’s ever been so idiotic as to say “everything okay” to an obviously ill man. Still, Akaashi seems to have some degree of kindness not to call him out on it, because he gives a tiny smile and nod. “Yes, I’m fine for now.”

“That’s… good,” Kenma says. He’s absolutely terrible at small talk, but tells himself he has to make some measure of an effort since he was the one who asked out Akaashi in the first place. He thinks back to all of his dating sims. “Uh, so. What do you do for a living?”

“Nothing all that interesting, I’m afraid,” Akaashi says. “I work for a manga company, actually. I applied to the literature department, but got stuck in editing instead. It’s fairly stressful.” He sighs. “I’m sure the company’s not happy with me for having to miss days for doctor’s appointments, so I may be changing jobs sometime soon.”

“It’d be fucked up of them to lay you off for that,” Kenma says, tension entering his voice. 

“It would,” Akaashi agrees. “But the job requires a lot of work, and if I’m not there to do it…” He gives a small shrug. “Well, I suppose I already know what you do. But how did you end up working there?”

“I just needed a job, and the doctor who runs the clinic is my best friend, so call it nepotism, I guess.” Kenma wrinkles up his nose. 

“Is it weird, to work under the supervision of a friend like that?”

Kenma shrugs. “Not really. He lets me get away with a lot. But his scolding can get annoying, I guess.”

“Hm,” Akaashi says, almost wistful. “It must be nice.”

They make it to the restaurant. Kenma orders a bowl of ramen for both of them, tonkotsu broth - hopefully a comfort food. The owner nods a hello to him, a nod that Kenma returns. The two of them don’t really speak to each other. Still, with Kenma coming so often, they’ve developed a silent familiarity. 

Akaashi digs into his ramen immediately. Kenma glances at him out of the corner of his eye. He slurps down the ramen quickly, brightness in his eyes. It’s nice, Kenma thinks. Akaashi Keiji is a very attractive man, especially when he looks like  _ this.  _ But those are the thoughts he can’t allow himself to have, because Akaashi Keiji is also a patient, one who’s apparently very sick. 

Kenma thinks once again that this had been a very, very bad idea. 

“You have good taste,” Akaashi says, pausing in between bites. “What else do you like, then?”

“Video games,” Kenma says immediately.

Akaashi nods. “I admit I don’t know a lot about video games, but I’m interested in learning more. What’s your favorite game?”

Kenma’s face immediately drops.  _ Dangerous question,  _ he thinks wryly. “You can’t ask me that. It’s way too broad. At least pick a genre or something!” 

“Apologies,” Akaashi offers immediately. “I didn’t mean to hit a sore spot, but I’m afraid I don’t really know about genres. Uh... is there a game you’re currently playing and enjoying, then?”

Kenma thinks for a second, then nods. “I’ve been playing the second Xenoblade Chronicles, and it’s not bad. I’m pretty close to the end of the game.” 

“Well, good luck,” Akaashi offers. “Is that what people say for video games? I know they do for sports and things, but…”

“Yeah, good luck works,” Kenma says, and finds it intensely adorable, and hates himself for it.

.

When he comes in the next day, Tsukishima smirks at him. “How was your date?”

“Wasn’t a date,” Kenma says immediately.

“Right, right. That’s why you’re turning red.”

Kenma scowls at him, then says, “S’not like you haven’t had a crush on a patient before.”

Tsukishima looks affronted. “I would never.”

“Kuro mentioned you seemed pretty into Yamaguchi Tadashi,” Kenma hums. “And Yamaguchi’s recovered now, switched doctors and everything, so it wouldn’t be a conflict of interest anymore…”

“Tell Kuroo to shut his damn mouth for once,” Tsukishima says, turning even redder than Kenma had. 

“You can say it to him, though he might just snap and fire you one of these days.”

“He’d have to find someone else to do all the damn work in this office, then,” Tsukishima grumbles, turning back to his paperwork. 

Kenma ducks under the table and turns his Switch back on. Tsukishima looks like he’s about ready to kill him.

.

The next time Akaashi shows up at the doctor’s office, he gives Kenma a nod. “Hello, Kozume-san,” he says. “Have you beat the game you were playing yet? Xenoblade, right?”

“Yeah,” Kenma says, a little dazed at the fact that Akaashi had remembered - no one does, really, except Kuroo on occasion, but that’s mostly to laugh at him. He then tells himself to snap out of it. He can’t get too attached, he reminds himself. It doesn’t matter if Akaashi’s gorgeous and remembers stuff about him. “It was a good game. Uh, when’s your appointment for?”

“1:15,” Akaashi says. Kenma looks at him -  _ really  _ looks at him - and it sends a sharp pain down his spine. Akaashi’s definitely thinner, the bags under his eyes more pronounced. He certainly can’t be doing well. 

Kenma wants to say something, but doesn’t know what.

“Okay, you’re good,” he says instead. “The doctor will be with you shortly.”

Akaashi nods. Still, he doesn’t walk away. “Do you happen to play, uh, The Legend of… Hilda?”

“The Legend of Zelda?” Kenma asks. 

“Yes,” Akaashi says. “I asked one of my friends if I could borrow their game system, and this is the game they lent me. I thought it might be something you would play.”

God, Kenma’s stupid heart feels like it might explode. Had… had Akaashi borrowed a game just so that they would have something to talk about? It’s a tiny thing, and yet it feels so big. But Kenma can’t let himself get invested, he reminds himself. Akaashi is off-limits for a number of reasons. “Which game?” he says.

“I believe it’s… Phantom Hourglass?”

“Ah, that one is pretty good,” Kenma says. “A decent amount of the gameplay is based on puzzle-solving, and you seem intelligent, so I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.”

“I seem intelligent, do I?” Akaashi’s mouth quirks up. “Well, thank you, Kozume-san. I’ll let you know what I think of it.”

“Yeah, you should,” Kenma agrees. He watches as Akaashi goes to sit down, his movements sluggish and lethargic. Kenma’s chest aches all the more.  _ Stupid, stupid, stupid.  _

When he glances over at Tsukishima, the look on Tsukishima’s face tells him the exact same thing.

.

Akaashi comes in a week later, his face looking even paler than the week before.  _ This is why you don’t get attached,  _ Kenma chides himself, but can’t stop himself from asking, “How are you feeling?”

Akaashi tries to say something, but ends up in a coughing fit. Once he gets his breathing back under control, he chokes out an “I’m fine,” though it’s not exactly convincing.

Kenma exhales. “Go sit down, Akaashi-san. I’ll check you in.”

“I apologize,” Akaashi says, or at least Kenma thinks that’s what he’s trying to say. It’s mangled through coughs. 

“You don’t have to apologize,” Kenma says, his voice pleading. “Just… sit down. Don’t stress yourself out. I’ll call you when the doctor’s ready, okay?”

It’s not that he doesn’t want to talk to Akaashi; he does, too much. But it’s clear that talking is going to make things worse. It feels like a sharp sort of symbolism. Talking to Kenma too much will just make Akaashi worse. 

Still, when Akaashi comes out of the doctor’s office, he gives Kenma a tiny quirk of the lips - the closest to a smile Kenma’s ever seen from him. “I’m enjoying the game, by the way,” he says before he starts coughing again.

Kenma stares after him hopelessly.

.

It takes a few more times of Akaashi showing up, never looking all that great but insisting to Kenma that he’s okay, before Kenma goes to Kuroo.

Kuroo stares at him lazily, raising an eyebrow. “Not that I’m not happy to see you,” he says, a bit of an edge to his voice, “but what the hell are you doing in here?”

“You don’t have a meeting right now.”

“And, what, that automatically means my free time goes to you?”

“Yes.”

Kuroo sighs. “Fair enough,” he says. “What’s going on, though?”

“It’s about one of the patients.”   
  


Kuroo glances back up, his eyebrows shooting up. “What, are you actually trying to do something work-related right now? Color me shocked.”

Kenma huffs in response, crossing his arms. “I do work.”

“You don’t, though.”

“Then fire me,” Kenma says. “Anyways, it’s kind of… not that work related. I just want to know about Akaashi Keiji.”

Kenma hates that Kuroo knows him so well, that it only takes Kuroo staring at him for a few seconds before Kuroo says, “Shit, Kenma.”

“Spare me the lectures. I know it’s impossible. I just… I have to know,” Kenma says. 

“I can’t tell you his medical information, y’know,” Kuroo says. “I can’t breach his privacy.”

“I work for your office,  _ y’know _ . I could go dig up his files right now if I wanted to. It’s not about that. I just want to know what the chances are.”

“The chances?”

“His chances of recovery,” Kenma mutters, looking down, sure that there’s a blush on his cheeks and praying to god that for once in his life Kuroo won’t be an asshole and call him out on it. 

“Ah,” Kuroo says. “Well, you know me, I always think there’s a chance. But for Akaashi…” Kuroo shrugs. “I’d say his chances are even higher than usual. He's a fighter, that one. Plus... he's young and otherwise healthy. I think he could do it.”

The weight in his chest lessens just a little bit. Kenma finds it’s a little easier to breathe. He gives a small nod. “Okay. Thanks, Kuro.”

“You’re happy.”

“I’m not.”

“Yeah, you are.”

“Am not.”

“You’re a terrible liar, y’know,” Kuroo says, and Kenma lets the corner of his mouth tilt up.

.

Despite Kuroo’s words, Kenma tries not to let himself get his hopes up. Still, when Akaashi comes in for his next appointment, Kenma can’t help but analyze him, looking for indications that Akaashi is healthier now than the last time he’d seen him. Do his eyes actually seem brighter, or is that just Kenma deluding himself? Has he put some weight back on? Do his cheeks seem a little fuller? Does his hair seem thicker?

He talks to Kenma more and more, it seems. He tells Kenma about the games he’s played, drops little tidbits about himself - he’s on “permanent leave” from work these days, he says grimly, and Kenma fights down the urge to attack an entire company. More time for gaming, he supposes, he says with a small grimace. 

He tells Kenma that he likes owls, but doesn’t think they’d be the most affectionate pet. Kenma laughs and recommends he get a cat or a dog, as they’re decent therapy pets. Akaashi shrugs, says he’ll consider it. 

And then, all of a sudden, Akaashi disappears. 

Two weeks pass, and Akaashi doesn’t show up for appointments. Kenma realizes that he doesn’t have any way of contacting Akaashi outside of the office. It seems unethical and creepy to go into his file for his phone number, so Kenma turns to harassing Kuroo instead.

“Is Akaashi okay?” he asks Kuroo frantically over the phone.

“Akaashi?” Kuroo sounds confused. “Yeah, he’s fine. Why?”

“He hasn’t been here in a while,” Kenma says. “I got worried.”

Kuroo laughs, his stupid obnoxious laugh. “Kenma, I’m not going to reveal too much confidential information, but sometimes it’s a good thing if people don’t come to the doctor for a while, ya know?”

Shit. Kenma’s breath catches in his throat. 

If Akaashi has gotten better, is getting better, it’s a good thing, undoubtedly a good thing. It’s all he’s wanted for the past few months. Someone like Akaashi doesn’t deserve to lose even part of his life to this stupid sickness. 

But he can’t help feeling a little bit bittersweet at the concept of never seeing Akaashi again. 

.

  
  


“He’s here again,” Tsukishima hisses about a week later, prompting Kenma to jump, dropping his PSP console. Kenma can tell by the undertone in Tsukishima’s tone exactly who he’s referring to. And sure enough, when he looks up, his eyes connect with those of Akaashi.

“Hi, Akaashi-san,” Kenma says, his breath catching in his throat. God, he’d been so damn scared, but here Akaashi is, in front of him again, looking -  _ better  _ \- and he’s here again. “How are you feeling?” It’s his usual question, but it’s not often that he’s truly invested in the answer. With Akaashi, though, he waits with bated breath for his answer.

“Good,” is Akaashi’s answer, and Kenma lets out the breath he’d been holding. “Honestly, very good, better than I have felt in a long time. Thank you for asking, Kozume-san.”

It’s the answer Kenma’s been secretly hoping for for a long time. He tries not to let the happiness show on his face. “What time is your appointment today?”

Akaashi glances down. If Kenma didn’t know better, he’d think that that’s a hint of a blush he sees on Akaashi’s cheeks, but there’s no reason for Akaashi to be blushing. Or so he thinks, until Akaashi says, “I don’t have an appointment, actually. I was hoping to talk to you. Do you… do you mind if we talk outside for a minute?”

Kenma’s heart picks up speed at a rapid pace. He glances over at Tsukishima, who waves a hand dismissively. “It’s not like you do shit around here anyways,” he sneers. “Go talk to your lover boy.” 

Kenma scowls at him and resists the urge to flip him off. He gets out of his chair and follows Akaashi outside, trying to figure out exactly what Akaashi could be wanting to talk to him about and avoid his hopes soaring too high. Once the doors close behind them, Kenma blinks at him. “So…”

“Honestly, I’m not sure how to go about this,” Akaashi says apologetically. “I never thought that I would be put into a situation where I would end up with a rather extreme crush on the receptionist at my doctor’s office, but here we are.”

“You  _ what _ ?” Kenma says, nearly choking on his own spit. Of all the things he’d imagined Akaashi having to say to him, of all the ways he’d imagined this going, this blunt explanation hadn’t been one of them.

“You are one of the only things that has kept me going the past few months,” Akaashi confesses, tilting his head down as he speaks, and Kenma realizes that  _ yes,  _ that is a blush coating Akaashi’s cheeks. “I told myself that when I finally recovered, I would work up the courage to ask you out. So I am here now to do just that.”

Kenma just stares at him.  _ He’s so beautiful,  _ Kenma thinks, looking in awe at the red that coats his cheeks - fuller and more full of life than the first time Akaashi had stepped into the doctor’s office, but yet he’d been just as beautiful then. Kenma reaches out to put a hand against his cheek, and slowly, quietly, he says, “So why haven’t you kissed me yet?”

“Kozume-san?!” Akaashi exclaims, his eyes big. “I… you…?”

“Kenma,” Kenma corrects him.

“Kenma,” Akaashi whispers, and then he finally, finally leans down to bring their mouths together. Kenma holds on tight and hopes he’ll never have to let go. 

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY LISA!!!  
> I promised you Akaken for your birthday so here you go!! I hope you enjoy it (and the MASSIVE amount of effort it took to have Kuroken in the same scene and have it be non-romantic :() Thanks for being a great friend and constantly keeping us entertained.  
> Thank you everyone for reading, and please leave a comment if you enjoyed!


End file.
